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Thursday, June 18, 2015

Peroxide Love

I thought I could live in a vacuum
     Guessnot, ohwell.

And here we are.
                    Again.
Ready to discuss my hospitalization.
                So what's your diagnosis? 
      :Cancer of the soul?
      :Did my heart not heal right?
      :Am I allergic to love or
does my indifference show that bad now?

Your silence
     is understood
           and thicker than blood.


Two centuries passed us in the absence of talk
      while my rage paged
                up
                and
                down
                   the waiting room.
     Selfishness is a suit I wear to impress and
caress the undressed (Imakeyounakedeverywhere.)

Revolvers and white chalk lines
Surprised to be an outline?
Love pays the price
for my killing spree
and kindness, goodwill, happy family moments.

I don't get life and you don't get me.

A thousand billion thoughts have filled your silence.
Why are you still hereHaven't you discovered I hate youFriends 
are better as ornamentsIf you love them you leave themMemories never hurt as bad.

Desperation?
Can you hear it screaming behind my voicebox?

iwishyoudgoiwishyoudgoiwishyoudgoiwishyoudgoiwishyoudgoiwishyoudgo
staystaystay                           stay.

Are you talking now?
                        Is it over?
Goodbye.  (really?)  See ya.

The phone slides from my hand
  and
I watch it
like a stunned snake
expecting it to come to life.
But the venom was never the snake's.

I made it myself                  and I drink it
                                                  dose
                                                       by
                                                  dose.
                                                                                    
             Little
   Nurses
like you
           always
want to fix
            Little
Addicts
like us.

                           I hate being fixed
                           and I hate nurses who make home visits.

                   Antibiotic Friends
and Peroxide Love
                   Will
suit me just fine.



Today's guest post is by James Best, ex-boyfriend and writer extraordinaire.  This poem has not been used by permission, so if you know his current contact info, please ask him to contact me.  :D

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